According to most every person NOT living with mini people we are supposed to be enjoying this journey, cherishing these moments, appreciating them while their small. Seizing the day? Most days it feels more like surviving. It's just the truth. It sounds melodramatic. it sounds whiny and a little pathetic out of context. But it's true. I mean, consider the context. Your hours are not yoru own, your space is not your own, your dietary and sleep schedules and preferences... are... not... your... own. Some days I just want to lay down on the floor, borrow a page out of their pouty little tantrum playbook and just say "NO! I DON'T WANNA."
And I am pretty sure it's okay to feel that way. I mean, I know it's okay to feel that way. So often there is this pressure in social media society to put on your instagram worthy selfie smile, post on Facebook about how #blessed you are and serve up Pinterest worthy meals. But, while there may be a time and a minute where that is a reflection and a reality of real life, it doesn't account for the the other 23 hours and 59 minutes of the day.
That life where the poop hits the fan. Or the floor. That life where those pinterest worthy meals are whined over or the smile was preceded by a clenched teeth "Look at the camera and stop shoving your sister."
Parenting is hard. I mean, sometimes it is HA-ARD. Disaster and illness and trauma HARD. And other times is dull, heavy and blah hard. It's ok to acknowledge that. It's when we put this insane pressure on ourselves to love every darn second that it all just gets unbearable. When we say feeling disappointed, sad and exhausted isn't ok, we pile on more pressure. And as if there isn't enough pressure already. That women's lib movement is a good one in that women ought to be paid the same for the same work and we should have an opinion equal to any man. But I'll be darned if it hasn't conditioned my generation to feel like we are supposed to be doing it all. Just because we can- does it mean we should?
This has been something weighing on me lately. And it's not something I have answers for. I just kinda wanted to put it out there. To all the Mamas who feel like they're not enough. You are. You are enough in the moment even if you want to be more. You are enough even if for this moment you need to step away and fill your cup. You are enough and you can give yourself permission to not do it all. Doing it all doesn't make us "more." Being content and mindful and REAL. That makes us more. More equipped to fail and then rise. More equipped to say what we need and find support needed to make it happen. More Mom than we can dare imagine.
So Mom, who looks around at all the cluttered surfaces and counts the minutes til bedtime and squeezes in work in the open spaces. I get you. You are doing really well. You are doing what you can. You don't have to love it all. But you are loved. They love you. And this sisterhood of moms loves you.
I am an eat, play, work at home Mom- a part time new-mom's support facilitator- full time dreamer of clay- an all the time thinker- a trained art therapist- and a home biz empower-er who never has enough minutes in the day, clay in my hands or ideas in my brain to create all the things! Also: I am mildly invested in our families health using nature's tools! Just kidding. That's my passion and message for others: Your life is essential. Take back your health!
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